I’m not whining. I know I lack passion, drive, or any short of ambitition. How can I accept that and be content? How can I accept others accomplishments without falling into negative thinking?
Whether it is my brother getting into a good university, a friend recieving praise from a professor, or my sister getting a raise at work, I always fall into a jealous pit of disspair. I will never do anything with my life. I am not capable of anything. I don’t want anything out of life.
Nobody wants to read about or admit to these feelings. You should seperate yourself and simply be happy for the other person. And I am happy for them. Their lives just contrasts my accomplishments so much I can’t help but notice.
While I (like to) think a lot of people have these thoughts, I need to keep myself from spiraling into them. My sister recently received an offer for a recommendation from a professor without her asking. Consequently and illogically, that night I felt like shit.
That’s not okay. Writing this out and recognizing that this is a pattern is a good step for me, I think.